Thursday, November 10, 2011

Watch The Throne - Review By DJ Twohands

Twohands’ Watch The Throne Review

Please remember that I had to listen to this album all the way through for the second time to write this review. It is a kinna stream of piss consciousness thing. I didn’t go into great details, I just wrote what I was thinking as I went through each track. Feel free to listen to the tracks as you read the reviews.

I have some good friends who like good Hip Hop who like this a lot. So I have had to listen to it again to see what all the fassy fuss is all about.

Watch the Throne.

1 - No Church in the Wild (Feat. Frank Ocean)

Leave the wack singing to those who do it best, ODB Biz and Grand Puba.

Who is Frank Ocean? Really? Is he a rapper of a fuckin brand of after shave? Sounds like a shitty version of Mos Def singing.

Beat is nice. Autotune is so wack, I thought Jay Z was anti Autotune?

Advil rhymes with mad real!

Listened to 85% of the track.

2. Lift Off (Feat. Beyoncé)

Oh God! Please. A Rocky soundtrack? Don’t mix family and business Jay.

Who gives a fuck about you taking your coat off. Put it back on and fuck off.

30%

3 - Ni—-s in Paris

I like Paris. Dope place. Jay can’t do fast rapping please stop. Lists of Michaels is really deep. I don’t hate the beat. Chorus is bad. I hate it when Kanye says ‘met me at the maaaaaaaaaaaaall!’

Beat is simple. I like simple. I don’t hate it. Middle 8 was a bit puke enducing however.

70%

4. Otis (Feat. Otis Redding)

This beat is sick. In all the good senses. Great sample. Piano works so well. Flip the vocal by Otis is fresh. I like the simplicity to it too. Kanye starts rapping and I turn off. I don’t care about your other other benz. Who gave Jay Z 5 passports? I have only one! Not fair. Is he from 5 countries or does he just travel a lot?

60% (heard it many times, and I prefer it with rock and ruck)

5. Gotta Have It

Sample is nice. Beat is nice too. Kanye shut the fuck up and stop ruining it.

30%

6. New Day

Love the bell on the snare. I hate auto tune shit. I feel queasy and a bit sick, not in a good way.Ego and we go rhyme. This is simple. I like simple. I don’t like this though. Boring and flat. Did I say how much I hate autotune. Me and the RZA connect is not a very good hook. Next.

50%


7. That’s My Bitch

I’ll never call you my bitch or even my boo, there’s so much to a name and so much more to you. Shut the hell up with that singing. You are making me wanna call you a bitch and like I said… Like the roll on the beats that’s coz it’s fuckin Apache!. Q Tip is funny but stop picking on Fife! The funky diabetic.

43%


8.
Welcome To The Jungle

I like when Kanye sings. Really I think it’s his forte. Murder capital where they murder for capital.Yawn…

Jay flops on this one hard.

75%

9. Who Gon Stop Me

I am. Next.

5%

10. Murder To Excellence

Same shit track. We are not gonna think it’s great if you try to slip it in there again with some minimal changes. No, we are better than that.

10% I still felt cheated.

11. Made In America

What is this shit. Shut the fuck up. Sweet bullshit. Sweet baby Jesus is not feeling this.

20%

12. Why I Love You

Is this Bon Jovi?

Crap. Save me from this.

15%

13. Illest Motherf**ker Alive

Cars are so cool. Feels like the music to Chariots of Fire meets the Teletubbies. (PS The illest is Sean P!)

30%

14. H•A•M

I prefer SPAM with Milk D and Ad Rock. Does Kanye start all the songs? I want him to stop doing that.

Oh God the synths just kicked in! Help me. Sorry Jay I can’t sit through any more of this I am just gonna have to trust my instincts and say that your verse is just mediocre.

35%

15. Primetime

Oh That’s Jay. Yes, not bad. Not great. Erm…getting bored already. NO ID..could do better.

40%

16. The Joy

Oh, this one is so nice. I heard this a long time ago and was so angry that I liked it so much. It should be Curtis Feat Kanye. Pete Rock kills it on this beat. I love the Different Strokes slowed down sample.

100%

This is not quite the right instrumental but at least there is no Kanye on it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qznVuWMOdqo

Twohands

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